When the family caregiver is worn out

What are the signs of caregiver burnout?

Signs include constant exhaustion, poor sleep, irritability or resentment, withdrawing from friends, neglecting one's own health, and feeling that nothing you do is enough.

Burnout is not a personal failing. It is the predictable result of a job with no shift change, and it raises the risk of mistakes and of the caregiver becoming ill.

Where can Utah County caregivers get support?

MAG Aging & Family Services offers a caregiver support program for people caring for someone 60 or older, with education, free support groups and an annual caregiver conference; call 801-229-3804.

MAG also publishes a Senior Help Guide for Utah, Wasatch and Summit counties, in English and Spanish, listing local resources by category.

How can a caregiver get a real break?

Respite options include adult day care, a few hours of home care each week, a short respite stay in assisted living, and hospice respite for families of hospice patients.

DLBC lists 3 adult day care licenses and 3 small health care facility licenses in Utah County. MAG's Senior Help Guide also lists adult day centers; call 801-229-3804 for openings.

Respite care is on the service lists of both the Aging Waiver and the New Choices Waiver for people who qualify.

When should the family consider a move instead?

Consider a move when caregiving is harming the caregiver's health, when the person needs help at night every night, or when safety problems keep recurring despite help.

Choosing assisted living or memory care is not giving up. Many families find they can return to being a son, daughter or spouse once someone else handles the round-the-clock tasks.

Does Medicare pay for respite care?

Only within hospice: Medicare's hospice benefit includes short inpatient respite stays so family caregivers can rest; outside hospice, respite is paid privately or through programs such as the Aging Waiver.

Ask a hospice provider how its respite stays work and where they take place in Utah County.

How can family members share the load in Utah County?

Divide the work by task rather than by guilt: one sibling handles money and paperwork, another takes appointments, others cover set evenings or weekends, and paid help or adult day care fills the remaining gaps.

A written weekly schedule, shared with everyone, prevents the most common pattern, in which one nearby adult child quietly ends up doing nearly all of it. Out-of-state relatives can still pay for respite or handle insurance calls.